Continued from Hey Kids! Listen to Your Parents!
Types of Obedience We Parents Can Expect from Our Children:
Normal expectations include little things, such as to sit still and listen in church, do their chores, and get up for school on time.
But MOST IMPORTANT is to listen to, respect and obey their elders, because if they can do that, other good behavior can fall into place.
Some good rules to help set boundaries for the kids are hard for non-christians and even some Christian parents to understand, especially with how our media and society has begun to expect that risky and even bad behavior is some kind of norm for teenagers.
Well, other parents can go ahead and allow their children to take certain risks with their lives and then try to correct whatever errors the child has made by helping them get abortions, drug counseling and bail from jail. I prefer to help my child overcome temptations by simply not setting them in bad situations to begin with.
My kids are a treasure. I like to treat them as such. Look at the below rules not in the light of what others might think, but what really is best for your child's emotional, physical and spiritual growth. For example;
The six-inch rule is a must. Teenagers many times just don’t understand the problems that result from close physical contact. There is no need for the girls to be sitting on the guys laps. End of Story.
Discourage the opposite sex from calling just to chat you preteens and young teens. They can call about homework, etc, but despite what popular culture pushes, you really don’t want a more personal relationship to develop with just one person of the opposite sex yet. Discourage long chats on the phone.
Don't allow dating until the age of 16, or later if we feel they are not ready for it. Even at that age, dating should be in groups rather than one on one. A young person needs to grow in maturity before they can understand and relate in a special way to someone else. As Dr. Dobson of “Focus on the Family wrote, Young people “never know each other as well as they think they do. That’s because the dating relationship is designed to conceal information, not reveal it.” It’s hard enough to really figure each other out when you’re 20 and even 30. It’s impossible for young teenagers.
Ann Landers once had in her column a letter about a young couple that had dated five years, all through high school and then were married. Their marriage lasted only 5 weeks. Why? How did that happen? I saw the same thing happen in my high school. The bottom line was that once this tender-hearted and kind couple began dating in 9th grade, the girl never had the heart to hurt the boy through the next 4 years. So although she wasn’t in a relationship she really wanted, she kept it up, not knowing how to back out. The longer they were together, the harder it became to back away. Don't set your kid up. Give them the comfort of rules and boundaries so they don't have to feel stuck in a situation that they aren't ready for.
Our children were encouraged not to even kiss until their wedding day. The wedding ceremony, with the final kiss, is truly one of the most beautiful events that can happen in your life. We didn’t want them to ruin it with cheap and unfulfilling imitations.
We also encouraged them to seek Christian mates. From our own experience and the things we’ve seen in life, they and their children would be much happier if they begin marriage on a firm foundation. We wanted our children to be as happy as possible.
That said, we have a huge opposing force in this society. Kids can't watch TV, magazine ad, or movies without seeing sex constantly and there is virtually no way to shield kids from it. If they don't see it at your house, they'll frequently see it at the neighbors. Even the school. So I have to admit, we had lofty goals that not every child has been able to meet. Still, that doesn't mean the goals were wrong. It means we simply have a huge fight in this country over the influence of our children.
Our goals; we wanted our children to enjoy childhood. In truth, it’s much more fun to be able to enjoy your classmates as friends for as long as possible, without the pressure of worrying about whether or not someone likes you or who is going out with whom, or who will get jealous if you talk to that other person. If we take the dating game out of the picture, our children can feel free to continue having simple fun with everyone. Some of our older children didn't understand and had a struggle with that, but not all have. My eigth-grader right now does in fact feel better without the pressure and has expressed that. Apparently, her class has lots of difficulties with dating, jealousies, pettiness, and drama. (Junior High drama. Is there anything worse?) She's very glad not to be a part of it.
Prov. 22:5, "In the paths of the wicked lie thorns and snares, but he who guards his soul stays far from them.