Chat about "Hope" with Author Beth Ward, Oct 13

The true story of an American Indian who realized just how much tribal and federal government policies were destroying his extended family.  

Roland grew up watching members of his family die of alcoholism, child abuse, suicide, and violence on the reservation. Like many others, he blamed all the problems on “white people.”  

Beth Ward grew up in a middle class home in the suburbs. Raised in a politically left family, she also believed that all problems on the reservation originated with cruel treatment by settlers and the stealing of land. Meeting her husband, her first close experience with a tribal member, she stepped out of the comfort of suburban life into a whole new, frightening world.  

After almost ten years of living with his alcoholism and the terrible dangers that came with it, they both realized that individual behavior and personal decisions were at the root of a man’s troubles, including their own, and no amount of entitlements would change that.  

What cannot be denied is that a large number of Native Americans are dying from alcoholism, drug abuse, suicide, and violence. The reservation, a socialistic experiment at best, pushes people to depend on tribal and federal government rather than God, and to blame all of life’s ills on others. The results have been disastrous. Roland realized that corrupt tribal government, dishonest federal Indian policy, and the controlling reservation system had more to do with the current pain and despair in his family and community than what had happened 150 years ago.  

Here is the plain truth in the eyes of one family, in the hope that at least some of the dying in Indian Country — physical, emotional, and spiritual — may be prevented.  

Dr. William B. Allen, Emeritus Professor, Political Science, MSU and former Chair of the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights (1989) has called the book, “…truly gripping, with a good pace.”  

Meet the author at an online book signing, Saturday, October 13th, 3 pm eastern time, 12 noon pacific, at https://dyinginindiancountry.campfirenow.com/room/533942

The book sells for $29.99 and is available online. For more information about the author and to purchase the book, please visit http://dyinginindiancountry.com/

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. We are gathering in DC in July - Come Add Your Voice to the Call to Protect Children from the Indian Child Welfare Act! Why?

• To protect the individual rights of Indian children and their families
• To ensure they maintain the right to a safe, supportive and stable family
• To request support for appropriate amendments to the ICWA

While said to have been established with good intentions, the ICWA has frequently hurt families and their children of Native American heritage. Federal dollars are being used to support adherence to this law; however in many cases, the law is destroying loving, stable families.

Though proponents of ICWA argue that the act has safeguards to prevent misuse, numerous multi-racial children have been affected by it. Children who have never been near a reservation nor involved in tribal customs have been removed from homes they love and placed with strangers chosen by Social Services. Other children have been denied the security of stable home life in preference for a series of foster homes.  

Issues of Concern:
-- 1) Equal opportunities for adoption, safety and stability are not always available to children of all heritages. -- 2) Some families, Indian and non-Indian, have felt threatened by tribal government. Some have had to mortgage homes and endure lengthy legal processes to protect their children.
-- 3) Some Children have been removed from safe, loving homes and placed into dangerous situations.
-- 4) The Constitutional right of parents to make life choices for their children, for children of Indian heritage to associate freely, and for children of Indian heritage to enjoy Equal Protection has in some cases been denied

~ Speakers:  

Dr. William B. Allen, former Chair, US Comm On Civil Rights (1989), Emeritus Professor, Political Science MSU Johnston Moore, national speaker, adoptive and foster care father, and advocate about adoption and foster care. He has personally battled ICWA and can speak from personal experience regarding his two sons. ~ Families share their stories

Participants meet one-on-one with Congressional offices.

For more information - please contact us at CAICW.org!

PLEASE SHARE THIS WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY! . PLEASE HELP ICWA families with expenses for the DC trip - DONATE NOW :)

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Save Veronica! is a Blessing to Many Children -

Praise God for all that has been happening over the last month. While we grieve for 2-yr-old Veronica who was taken three weeks ago from the only home she has ever known, she has been blessed with national attention - unlike many other children whom this has happened to. This has brought the issue of ICWA to the forefront.

For those who are concerned about this being a case involving a birth father – let us clarify;

The adoption wasn't finalized because the tribe had intervened, but M&M were 'parenting' Veronica from the moment she was born. They were at the birth. The bio-dad was not. Matt cut the umbilical cord - the bio-dad did not. Melanie stayed in a room at the hospital where she could parent/mother Veronica right away. The bio-dad did not. The bio-dad made no effort during the pregnancy or after birth to contact or support the mother, and made no real effort or request to see the little girl at any point in her life. She had never met him up until the evening she was handed over to him in the attorney’s office. The judge had allowed only ½ hour for Veronica to meet this man before he was free to take her. But it took two hours for the transfer to complete because she kept crying for M&M every time they tried to leave the room.

Matt and Melanie are the only parents she has ever known.

Had South Carolina law been applied to this case, the bio-dad would not have had any standing. By state law, he has essentially abandoned her and would not have had any parental rights. This is a law meant to protect adoptive parents and children from being bounced around like ping pong balls. He had also signed a paper sometime after her birth giving up any claim to her. But after Veronica had been with M&M for four months, he changed his mind and because he has a small percentage of Cherokee heritage, he was able to get the tribal attorney involved.

Matt & Melanie are emotionally devastated.

We are praying for Veronica. The State Supreme Court has accepted their appeal. It might take months though for them to hear the case. Knowing how hard it will be for a 2-yr-old to #1) remain away from the only parents she has ever known for months – and #2) how difficult it will be for her to make the transition back if she has been gone for months and then they win the case – we are praying for God’s mercy on Veronica and her parents. As crazy as this sounds, I am praying for a miracle – that Veronica be allowed to go home today, if not tomorrow.

Lord, in the name of Jesus, please return this baby girl to Melanie’s arms.

- We also have a family going to court this Friday, January 27th, who really needs prayer for their little boy.

Please pray for both these families.

But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Luke 18:16

Save Veronica Rose!

(Psychologist who witnessed Veronica's transfer comments on the detrimental effects - Click Baby Veronica to hear the audio of the interview.)


We are writing to make you aware of an injustice that has occurred to a two-year-old South Carolina child named Veronica Rose and her adoptive parents. Two years ago Veronica’s Latina birth mother chose Matt and Melanie to love, nurture and raise her child. To this day, Veronica’s birth mother remains committed to her decision and Veronica has been a thriving, happy child residing in a stable, nurturing environment. On or around Jan. 4, 2010, the birth father signed papers agreeing to give up his daughter.

However, because Veronica has some Cherokee heritage from her birth father’s side of the family, the Cherokee Nation intervened in the adoption proceedings and argued that this happy, healthy two-year-old be transferred to her birth father. Because of a federal law known as the Indian Child Welfare Act, a family court judge ruled that she be immediately transferred to her biological father.

The ruling placed the rights of the birth father and tribe above the best interests of this small child. Child-bonding experts agree that removing her from her home and family would be devastating and have long-lasting consequences. Numerous child psychologists stated this would be detrimental to any child. Yet on Dec. 31, Veronica was handed over to her biological father as if a possession without rights.

We believe that children need protection and should not be removed from loving, nurturing environments. We understand the premise of this law is to protect children; however, in Veronica’s case it has been used inappropriately.

Former U.S. senator Jim Abourezk (SD) authored ICWA. According to the Charleston Post and Courier, after reviewing Veronica's story, Abourezk called the interpretation in this case "something totally different than what we intended at the time."

"That's a tragedy," he said. "They obviously were attached to the child and, I would assume, the child was attached to them."

According to the 2000 census, approximately 75% of people claiming to have American Indian or Alaska Native ancestry live outside the reservation. Further, interracial marriages are a fact of life. It is must be recognized that most children of heritage live off the reservation and have extended family that are non-tribal. Though supporters of the Indian Child Welfare Act say it has safeguards to prevent misuse, Veronica and numerous other multi-racial children across the U.S have been hurt by it. Children who have never been near a reservation nor involved in tribal customs are affected. The Cherokee Nation alone is currently tied up in about 1,100 active Indian Child Welfare cases involving some 1,500 children.

Tragically, under the Indian Child Welfare Act:

1) Some children have been removed from safe, loving homes and placed in danger
2) Equal opportunities for adoption, safety and stability are not always available to children of all heritages
3) The Constitutional right of parents to make life choices for their children, for children of Indian heritage to associate freely, and for children of Indian heritage to enjoy Equal Protection has in some cases been infringed upon.

We want more than anything for Veronica to be allowed to come home. As our elected representatives, we urge you to protect Veronica’s rights in all possible ways as well as make legislative changes that will prevent this from happening to any other child again. While we understand you are unable to interfere in court proceedings, we ask you to speak out on this issue and let your constituents know clearly where you stand. We also ask you to sponsor legislation and encourage fellow Congressmen to support the amending of the Indian Child Welfare Act to:

1. Guarantee protection for children of Native American heritage equal to that of any other child in the United States.
2. Guarantee that fit parents, no matter their heritage, have the right to choose healthy guardians or adoptive parents for their children without concern for heritage.
3. Recognize the "Existing Indian Family Doctrine” as a viable analysis for consideration and application in child custody proceedings. (See In re Santos Y, In Bridget R., and In re Alexandria Y.)
4. Guarantee that United States citizens, no matter their heritage, have a right to fair trials.
• When summoned to a tribal court, parents and legal guardians will be informed of their legal rights, including USC 25 Chapter 21 1911 (b)“…In any State court proceeding for the foster care placement of, or termination of parental rights to, an Indian child not domiciled or residing within the reservation of the Indian child's tribe, the court, in the absence of good cause to the contrary, shall transfer such proceeding to the jurisdiction of the tribe, absent objection by either parent…”
• Under the principles of comity: All Tribes and States shall accord full faith and credit to a child custody order issued by the Tribe or State of initial jurisdiction consistent within the UCCJA – which enforces a child custody determination by a court of another State – unless the order has been vacated, stayed, or modified by a court having jurisdiction to do so under Article 2 of the UCCJA.

5. Include well defined protections for Adoptive Parents.
6. Mandate that a "Qualified expert witness" be someone who has professional knowledge of the child and family and is able to advocate for the well being of the child, first and foremost.
7. Mandate that only parents and/or legal custodians have the right to enroll a child into an Indian Tribe. Because it is claimed that tribal membership is a political rather than racial designation, we are asking that parents, as U.S. citizens, be given the sole, constitutional right to choose political affiliation for their families and not have it forced upon them.
• Remove the words “or are eligible for membership in” 1901 (3)
• Remove the words "eligible for membership in" from 1903 (4) (b), the definition of an ‘Indian child’ and replace with the words "an enrolled member of”

Save Veronica Supporters Worldwide
www.saveveronica.org
www.facebook.com/saveveronicarose
www.twitter.com/save_veronica

Protect families of tribal heritage - Our Brothers and Sisters in our Republic - Sign Petition

Friends!

Children are being exploited - used for additional power and money, many times against the wishes of parents who are helpless under U.S. law to prevent it.

Christian birth parents, foster parents, and adoptive parents are all affected by this law. Christian parents, who have wanted to give their children up for adoption rather than abort them, have been told they can not choose Christian homes for their children.

We have 30 days to get 25,000 signatures in order for our petition to be reviewed by the White House.

November is National Adoption Month - Let's do this Petition as our part in helping children this month. We need 6250 signatures a week to meet that goal. Let's pray for God's help and get started.

On Nov 19, Nat'l Adoption Day, families, adoption advocates, policymakers, judges and volunteers will come together and celebrate adoption in communities across the nation. We are setting a goal of 10,000 signatures by that date.

Please Sign the Petition and Use every method you have to share this link - http://wh.gov/bvZ - If everyone could get just 10 people to sign the petition and share it with at least 3 of their friends, we'll have it made!

Thank you friends!

TEXT OF PETITION:

We petition the Obama Administration to:

Ensure that Children of tribal heritage are guaranteed protection equal to that of any other child in the United States

Across America, children who had never been near a reservation nor involved in tribal customs have been taken from homes they know and love and placed with strangers chosen by tribal social services. This includes MULTI-racial children with minimal heritage.

Because of poorly thought out law called the 'Indian Child Welfare Act';

1) Kids have been removed from safe, loving homes and placed in dangerous ones.
2) Some families, Indian and non-Indian, have felt threatened by tribal gov't and have had no money to get legal help.
3) Equal opportunities for adoption, safety and stability are not always allowed to children of all heritages.
4) Constitutional right of parents to make choices for their families is being interfered with. Some tribal families don't want to be on the reservation. 

SIGN AT http://wh.gov/bvZ  

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Christian Org Teaching How ICWA is Hurting Families

Thank you for your continued support and prayers for Children and families hurt by the Indian Child Welfare Act!!  

The Christian Alliance for Indian Child Welfare (CAICW) received confirmation from the Senate Committee on Indian Affairs: The ICWA "Teach-in" will be FRIDAY, OCTOBER 28th, 9am to 1pm in the Senate Committee for Indian Affairs hearing room in Washington DC. 

Dr. William B. Allen will be the main speaker and we expect the information and material offered to be exceptional. Dr. Allen is a Professor in Political Science from Michigan University and a strong opponent of the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA)

Remember – the Christian Alliance for Indian Child Welfare is the ONLY national organization advocating for families who have lost or are at risk of losing children due to application of the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) and has been advocating for families since 2004.

Feb 26, 2011— “We need help! This child will be dead in this woman's hands. We feel the good fight to do what's right but fear this child will be severely marred.”

April 7, 2011— “I have no were else to turn. My girls and i are in desperate need of help. If there is anyway you can help us please contact me as soon possible day or night…”

May 18, 2011—”our kids were taken yesterday. The pain is difficult to bear. We love these kids so much. This will be there third family placement since coming into foster care almost 2 years ago.”

ALL are welcome to come join and support them there. Come on Wednesday prior and spend a couple days visiting with the offices of your Senators and Representatives - and invite their staff to come attend the Teach-in!

Please share this post with friends and relatives who might be interested!

Also - CAICW has SAMARITAN Discount cards available for sale to help with expenses  ;)

Contact Lisa if you would like one or would like a few to share some with friends!

Lisa- writeus@caicw.org

Website http://caicw.org

Twitter: http://twitter.com/CAICW   ( @CAICW )

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/fbCAICW.org

DONATIONS NEEDED for Teach-in expenses! Thanks!!! :)   - Click this Link for direct donations to CAICW, a 501c3 non-profit 

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All Children Deserve to Feel Safe -

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"Suffer the Children to Come unto Me"

Please help CAICW Advocate, Educate, Assist, and Defend

http://www.firstgiving.com/caicw/Event/AdoptionRetainerFund

Deborah Maddox, acting Director of the BIA Office of Tribal Services in 1993, once said Congress intended the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA)

“to protect Indian children from removal from their tribes and to assure that
tribes are given the opportunity to raise Indian children in a manner which
reflects the unique values of Indian culture."

Advocates of ICWA point to the devastation suffered by children of tribal heritage when, years ago, they were forcefully removed from homes they loved and forced to stay at boarding schools. The trauma those children and families experienced was, indeed, devastating.

However, in the implementation of the ICWA, the exact same thing has been happening to children in reverse. What has to be acknowledged is that we live in a migratory, multi-cultural society. This means that many children who fall under the jurisdiction of the Indian Child Welfare Act have more than one heritage, and many times are predominantly of another heritage, and/or have family who not only haven’t any connection to the Indian Reservation, but have specifically chosen not to participate in the reservation system.

Though some argue that ICWA has safeguards to prevent misuse, scores of multi-racial children have been negatively affected by its application. Letters from birth parents, grandparents, foster families, and pre-adoptive families concerning their children hurt by misapplication of ICWA can be read at ~ http://www.caicw.org/familystories.html

There is no inborn difference between persons of tribal heritage and other persons. Any emotionally healthy child, no matter their heritage, will be devastated when they are taken from their familiar homes and forced to live with strangers.

Even children of 100% tribal heritage can be devastated if taken from the only home they know and love, no matter the heritage, and placed into a home they know nothing about.

In the words of Dr. William Allen, former Chair, US Comm. On Civil Rights (1989) and Emeritus Professor, Political Science MSU;

“... We are talking about our brothers and our sisters. We’re talking about what happens to people who share with us an extremely important identity. And that identity is the identity of free citizens in a Republic…" (Re: The Indian Child Welfare Act, September 20, 2008, Wahkon, MN)

Consequent to this Congressional error in understanding the practical aspects of the ICWA, dozens of adoptions are held up every year. Some of these adoptive homes have had the children since infancy and are the only homes the children know. However, even simple adoptions can be expensive and many families aren’t prepared for this additional impediment. Time and again families have contacted the Christian Alliance for Indian Child Welfare (CAICW) to ask for help because they don’t have the funds needed to hire attorney’s to defend their children. Some families, after mortgaging their homes and having nothing else to use, have been forced to give up the fight for their children.

- Children have been removed from safe, loving homes and been placed into dangerous situations by Social Services.
- Some Indian and non-Indian families have felt threatened by tribal government.
- Some have had to take out additional mortgage on their homes and endure lengthy legal processes in attempt to protect their children.
- Equal opportunities for adoption, safety and stability are not available to children of all heritages.
- The Constitutional right of parents to make life choices for their children, for children of Indian heritage to associate freely, and for children of Indian heritage to enjoy Equal Protection has in many cases been denied.

Saturday, November 20, 2010 is National Adoption Day. Support Families nationally in defending their children from unreasonable impediment to their adoptions by helping raise $50,000 for ten $5000 Attorney retainer fees for ten Adoptive Families. These would be families that are in the midst of adopting children they have had physical custody of over a long term or from infancy, or stable ‘relative families’ attempting to retain or regain custody within the extended family – whether or not said family is enrollable with a tribe.

The “Fund Attorney Retainers for 10 Families” Drive begins on National Adoption Day, November 20, 2010 and ends on December 31, 2010. The Fund website can be found through FirstGiving.com at http://www.firstgiving.com/caicw/Event/AdoptionRetainerFund

The Christian Alliance for Indian Child Welfare (CAICW) has been advocating for families affected by the Indian Child Welfare Act since 2004 and is the only National org advocating for these families. Our advocacy is both Judicial and Legislative, as well as a prayer resource and shoulder to cry on.

Funds raised from this event will be used to assist up to 10 families in obtaining the legal assistance they need in order to complete their adoptions.

Additional informational links:


Legal and Constitutional concerns re: ICWA http://www.caicw.org/icw.html


Letters from Affected Families: http://www.caicw.org/familystories.html


ICWA Case Law: http://www.caicw.org/caselaw.html

#links

Women, Children and Elderly Being Slaughtered!

Where is our President? How come he's not spoken about this?  Where is Hillary Clinton? How come she hasn't spoken out against this?  Where is the Main Stream Media?  Are we going let another Rawanda happen without any concern? 

Turkish World Outreached

Saturday, 19 June 2010, 18:31 (EST)

The founder of Turkish World Outreached received a distressing letter from his Russian contact in Kyrgyzstan, seeking for aid and detailing desperate situations, including slaughtering of woman, children and the elderly.

Steve Hagerman, the U.S. director of Turkish World Outreach received the following message on June 15, 2010:

"We are in the center of a war in Osh, Kyrgyzstan. It is impossible to imagine the horror of the situation here!! The news is only reporting a small portion of what is actually going on. It is ethnic cleansing if you can call it that. Whole blocks of Uzbek homes have been torched and burned.

Women and children are being mercilessly killed. Many bodies and injured people are lying in the streets without anyone to help. Kyrgyz youth under the influence of alcohol and drugs are running wild in the streets killing anyone and burning whatever lies in their paths.

This ethnic tension (between Kyrgyz and Uzbeks) has existed under the surface for many years but recently has been stirred up for political purposes.

Because of this, it appears that authorities are doing nothing to stop the conflict and are silent. It seems that the whole situation was planned out in advance and that no one planned to put a stop to it.

One of my relatives went out today at great risk to get groceries for his household. On his way he saw an old man badly injured who was lying in the street. He wanted to help him and turned him over onto his back.

Immediately a group of young men ran up and started kicking the old man fiercely.

My relative heard one of these youths say, “He’s Kyrgyz” Another said, “No he’s Uzbek, let’s set him on fire.”

When my relative returned the old man lay burned to death.

Officially the government has issued an order to shoot to kill anyone with a weapon but in reality no one is carrying out this order.

These horrendous acts are continuing to take place. Police and soldiers are patrolling the streets but doing nothing to stop the violence.

Last night bandits broke into an army storage facility where weapons, helicopters, tanks, etc were stored.

We couldn’t imagine where these simple people had obtained so many weapons before and now they have even more weapons, plus army equipment! On top of all of this there is a shortage of food as the stores have been vandalized. When our food supply runs out we will go hungry.

The news is reporting that humanitarian aid is getting in but the supply is very limited. Not long ago bread was given out but for some reason they refused to give it to the Russians. We are not concerned about humanitarian aid, we simply want to live! Some news reports are saying that things are getting more stable but the truth is it is getting worse.

My goal in writing this is to the get word out to the world about what is actually happening here. We are afraid that we will be forgotten and alone in this crisis with no one coming to our aid. Presently they are not coming against us as Russians but we believe it is only a matter of time before they turn on us.

People have “tasted blood” with no consequences and will not stop the killing. We are living in a state of fear. Please send this information out to as many people as possible. This is our urgent plea for help." 

 - Please - ask your church to pray for the people of Kyrgyzstan, and contact your Congressional Delegation TODAY and ask them to urge President Obama as well as Secretary Clinton to stand up and help these people!  Federal Government Contact Information

Permission to reprint this letter granted by Steve Hagerman, with Christian Today's blessing, June 26, 2010
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Shush and Obey

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I was tired of arguing with one of the kids today, and when it was over and he had finally gone to bed, I wondered again if I did right.

See - I was so tired of arguing.  Always an arguement from this particular child. So I told the person just to go to bed. I'm done. I don't want to argue. Go to bed.  I had to say it more than a few times. Finally, he went, but only because I'd threatened to ground him.

After everything quieted and I was by myself again, frustrated, I went back to what I had been doing in my office. I resumed my tasks at the computer, but all the while, still thinking about what just happened.

And then I saw a tweet by Randy Alcorn -

"Job stops arguing with God.  Job 42:2-6. It is when he surrenders to God that he finds comfort."

Ok. I had to look that up. What is Job 42: 1-6?

1 Then Job replied to the LORD :
2 'I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.
3 You asked, "Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?" Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.
4 You said, "Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me."
5 My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.
6 Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.'

This is what struck me immediately...

After years of having to maintain total control while my husband was drinking, I worked at letting go, shushing up, and letting God guide my husband's decisions after we became Christians. During this period of time, I even wore a scarf. - not for legalistic reasons - but to remind myself to back off and be quiet and listen to what my husband had to say.

It was hard!  Hard for me to let go of the reins, but also, surprisingly, hard for my husband to pick them up and take control. For a little while there, he actually got mad at me if I wouldn't say what we should do next. So one of the pastors told me to give Roland options, discuss the issue, but then still back off from the final decision. (Kind of a tight rope)

And of course my husband made mistakes. Kind of like a child learning to walk. One of his first major decisions was the phones for our Medicab - and he signed us into a terrible contract.  But we all make mistakes. Making the correct decision all the time wasn't the point. The point was for me to rest and let him do it - and trust God, not necessarily him.  In other words, if my husband made a mistake,  it was okay, because I was trusting God to make things work in the long run.

Anyway, my stepping back and his stepping forward helped us both, and we grew.  Neither of us were perfect, but we did get to a point where we were both much better. We were also much more comfortable with things this way. I really did find myself enjoying that certain things were no longer 'my' problem and stepped back with relief that I didn't have to worry about certain issues anymore.

Which is, I think, what I was trying to express to some of kids when they were teenagers; telling them to just tell friends at school that certain decisions were out of their hands. Tell them that their mother was a mean decision maker, and that I would kill them if they tried drugs or alcohol. I had hoped my kids would find comfort in not having to make certain decisions - kind of like I had found comfort in letting someone else be in control. "See," I told them, "the decision has already been made - you aren't allowed to do what they were asking you to do.  You can rest in that decision"

Unfortunately, it didn't work. Most of my older kids didn't embrace that teaching. Maybe it was in the delivery. 

Anyway, so I've been trying to teach some of the younger kids with an even simpler - maybe gentler - certainly more tired - version of that concept. 

"Let me be the boss.  Let go.  Simply quit arguing and do as I ask. Really. Things are a lot easier that way. For everyone. Yup."

In some ways, it's getting through a little better. Perhaps more because the younger can see the troubles older siblings had gotten into and know that if 'such and such' rules had simply been listened to, those sibs wouldn't have gotten into those troubles. At any rate, motivation aside, the younger ones seem to be listening a little better.
Sure, I will make mistakes, too, just as we all do.  But in the big picture, it doesn't matter.  Does it matter today that my husband, who passed away 6-years ago, put us into a bad contract 17-years ago?  No. No one but me even remembers the contract, and it is totally irrelevant to me or to anything happening today. 

However, the big picture - that he and I had eventually learned to work together as a cooperating team - matters a great deal.  It matters to my heart, and it matters to my kids.  The big picture is that he is no longer with us, but our good memories, the lessons we learned together, and our love for him will last forever.

And my older ones, having gone through their grief, are starting to see and understand that, especially now that some of them are raising kids.

So back to that lesson from Job; there's a lot of good for us all to learn in it. It refers to God and our submission to Him, but can also teach us about getting comfort from simply listening to - and obeying - any of our authorities. (as long as the authorities aren't telling you to break God's laws)

In our society, we already know we aren't ever to argue with the police. Or with a judge. These are 'given's that most of us easily accept.  And we aren't to argue with or disrespect our military commander, no matter what an idiot he might be, as General McChrystal recently reminded us.  Submitting to the concept of obeying those in authority is a real expectation in our society, and most of us rarely question it.

And arguing with our boss isn't always bright. (although I've done it in my youth) (and lost jobs because of it)
Simply dong as our domineering boss asks, even if is stupid, makes life simpler. (as long as everyone knows it was the boss who demanded that it be done in a stupid way.)  Most of us understand this about authority.

Except when it comes to parents.  In the last 60 years, the expectation that parents be obeyed has been erroded. Strict parents are seen as "controlling," and assumed to be "abusive."  This has been brought on by an intrusive school system as well as television and movies, where teens and even pre-teens are lauded for their sass and rebellion. Parents, teachers and school principals are often portrayed as idiots with whom the children must endure.  Although I like Will Smith a lot now, I never used to let my kids watch "the Fresh Prince of Bel Air" because the attitude toward those in authority was so nasty.  The movie "Home Alone" is another example were parents were shamelessly ridiculed and disregarded.  And those are just a couple examples. The televsion and movie industry is full of matrial that disregards parents.

We have learned to disrespect the authority of parents, and I say "we" because I was raised within the last 60 years, as well. I was a teen in the 70's, when disregarding parents (and bosses we thought were stupid) had already become a norm.  Sass was an art form - one with which you could get lots of good attention from friends for. (believe me, I got good attention for my sass)

Further, when I began raising my kids, I had no confidence in my own authority.  If my older children disagreed with me, I actually believed that I should factor that into my final decision.  I confess that I needed to be stronger about making decisions and sticking to them no matter how my kids wheedled.
Now, toward the end of my child raising days, I'm finally getting the hang of it.
Kids need to know "No more arguing. Just do it."   Yup.

And for me - teaching my kids to simply 'shush and obey' IS my job in obeying my God, who commanded me in Deut. 6 to teach my kids everything there is to know about Him and all His expectations. Teaching my children about authority - most importantly, HIS authority - is MY act of shushing and obeying my God... who commanded me.

Submitting to earthly authorities can be a way to learn how to submit to God.  Kind of like - if we can simply listen to, trust and obey the flesh and blood parent screaming lunatic standing in our living room, then maybe we can understand how to submit to, trust and obey our much quieter, comforting, and always correct God.

And that's all I really wanted from this child tonight. Just to - shush - listen, and obey. That's all. 

Really parents - it's okay to want and receive that. In fact, it's our job.

When Junior says, "Quit pushing religion on me!"

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Have you ever heard this from your kids?

"Why do you Keep Trying to Make me a Christian!"
"You're always trying to stuff God down my throat!"
"Quit pushing your religion on me!"

Sometimes, as parents, we want to just throw in the towel. Who needs this? If the kid doesn't appreciate what your trying to teach, forget 'em, right?

Well, that might be what wells up in our throats in the heat of the argument, but deep down...we don't want to give up. Not if we really believe what Christ taught. These are our babies, our kids. We don't want them to struggle without Jesus in their lives. We don't want them to die.

So we have no choice. We might need to take a break, but when all is said and done, there is only one Truth... and God has given us a job as parents.

Deut. 6:4-7
"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. [a] 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

One can gently stand firm in the Lord without being an obnoxious 'Bible Thumper.' Your child needs to know there is no compromise and even if your are choosing not to argue at this point in time, you have not changed your mind or submitted to the child's strong-willed heart.

Simply put;  "I love you. My standards will not waiver from the Truth. How was your Day."

Coming to terms with our job doesn't change the anger and rebellion emitting from a teen. We do the best we can, but because this is a spiritual war, the battle is very real, painful to both sides, and can go on for a long time. The teen might walk away as soon as they are able.   This is the hard part - continuing in the Truth, even while knowing your child is staying away because of it.

While some say that "this too shall pass," and your child will return eventually to the Truth he/she was raised in, that isn't necessarily true.  A child, in reckless rebellion, might die before they ever return to the Lord.  God has given us all Free Will.

That would be extremely terrible.  But the reverse would be worse.  To set aside the Lord for the purpose of pleasing the child - making the child more important than God, allowing your child to believe that he/she is right and God doesn't matter, and living for the pleasures of comfort here on earth - is a death sentence for both you and the child.  A child's free choice should not compromise your own choice to follow Truth.

Don't forget the testimony of Franklin Graham, former rebellious son of Billy Graham.
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Diocese turns its back on Christ to keep schools open

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In an effort reminiscent of ancient Israelites who took up the traditions and icons of their neighbors every time they were afraid God wouldn't or couldn't help them with their troubles, New York and Washington DC Catholic dioceses have given up their right and duty to train up children in the way they should be - in return for public funding.  DC Archbishop Donald W. Wuerl, converted seven of the District's 28 Catholic schools into secular charter schools in 2008.  Now, a Catholic archdiocese in Indiana plans to change its parochial schools into public charter schools this next year.

In order to do this, the diocese must agree not to teach the kids anything at all about God, and remove every decoration or figure that is associated with Christianity. In Indiana, this includes removing large limestone crosses that are part of the outside wall of the buildings.

Now, I'm not big on statues and icons. However, I am even less big on turning ones back on what one believes for the sake of a monetary goal.

I understand from reports that the Diocese believes this is necessary in order that the schools stay open in needy communities.  In other words, the Diocese has decided that a neighborhood academic experience is more important to the well-being of these children and communities than knowledge of Jesus Christ.  Does this Diocese not believe in the full teaching of the Gospel?  If not, perhaps they are correct that they as a team should not be teaching it.

This isn't about Catholic bashing.  This is about one group of Christian leaders making a very wrong decision.  I was raised in Catholic schools. My aunt, a Franciscan Nun, taught in a Catholic high school most of her life. We, as Christians, have been instructed to teach children the Good News. Catholic schools, I had thought, were founded with the express purpose of doing just that. 

I can't believe any truly believing Christian would agree to take a prayerful school and turn it secular for the purpose of collecting government money.

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6

"Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deuteronomy 6:7

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4

In the first place, the 'government' can't afford to be funding everything.  Its going bankrupt, remember? As citizens, we need to be finding creative ways to make ends meet without depending on the government.

Secondly, there are wonderfully creative ways to teach children with little money.  Ask any homeschooling mother.  I also remember my mom telling me the story of her first year at a newly built Catholic school in the 1940's. The classrooms hadn't been completed yet, so they gathered in the cafeteria and separated the classes by hanging blankets.  She remembered that year fondly. 

In other words, get over the idea that everything that you think is needed is really needed.

But thirdly, and most importantly, God does tremendous things through prayer. Have none of these people ever heard of George Mueller? For those that don't know, he fed hundreds of orphans through the years totally through faith and prayer. Some of the ways the Lord answered and provided were truly miraculous. There are many other examples of brave prayer warriors through out history. What Mother Theresa was able to do through faith and determination was amazing. Leaving God out of her ministry was not an option.

Haven't any of these people read the Bible?  Don't think prayer can do the job?  Believers know that God answers prayer. Sure, sometimes the answer is "no."  But if it is, then praise God for putting a hold on something that might not have been the best idea in the first place.  He sees things that we don't and has the ultimate wisdom as to how to accomplish needed goals - including the best way to teach children.  But other times, when we are headed in the right direction, the answer is a miraculously yes. 

Our family has had several experiences.  Fifteen years ago, while my husband was driving across country, I waited at home and prayed.  He was on his way to pick up four of his relatives' children that were suddenly and unexpectedly in need a home. I prayed about how we would feed them when we could barely feed ourselves.  But it was an emergency and my husband knew he had no other choice but to jump in the car and go.  The next day, straight out of a George Mueller play book, a friend, unaware my husband had left to pick up children, showed up with a car full of supplies, including a summer's worth of blue diapers.  I didn't have a small boy in my home that needed them...but my husband would be bringing an 18-month old boy home in a couple days. They were just the right size.

Apparently, a grocery store Semi had overturned at the corner in front of our friends house.  The driver had told him to go ahead and gather the products strewn all over highway.

That event has always amazed me and I love to tell the story.  Did I mention that the diapers were even blue, not pink? (this was during that brief period that they were selling them that way)  Amazing - God having fun with even the smallest details. 

Five years later, we were praying that if the Lord wanted our family to help at a Children's home in Juarez, Mexico, he would provide a comfortable way for my husband, who was dying of bone cancer, to travel.  That little boy with the blue diapers, now six, prayed that the Lord would give us an RV.  After the prayer, I gently told him that we could pray for help, but it's not right to ask for things so bluntly.  A week later, a woman called and asked if she could give us a huge, 10 bunk RV.  Needless to say, we went on that Children's home in Mexico.

Others might doubt God's providence, but those experiences, as well as a few others, spoke quite loudly to me.

That isn't to say that I've never forgotten, gotten scared, and gone ahead without prayer - making a bad decision that I later regretted. But...at the very least, I would be terrified to take a step such as the one these dioceses are making - To decide government funding is a priority over teaching Jesus Christ to the children.  I would be terrified as to the consequences that the leadership is bringing on themselves.

Even the thought of taking such a step is stomach turning.  I pray that the Indiana diocese prayerfully rethinks turning its back on the spiritual needs these children have.  One would hope that the faithful of the church in Indianapolis will not follow in the ways of New York and DC, but would instead pray for God's providence, leaning on the Lord rather than turning their back on Jesus and depending on the government.
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